“And if you lose yourself, I will find you.” 

Last saturday, as I went to mass all by myself, because I think I wouldn’t make it to sunday mass, and attended anticipated mass. It has always been an amazing experience, going to mass all by myself. 

I have been beating myself up lately because I feel spiritually disconnected in the most important time to be connected with God. (Well, for me, that is). Things have been going haywire — in the most literal sense, in my life because I feel like i don’t pray. (i know, too much guilt, for no apparent reason). 

But last Saturday’s celebration of the Holy Eucharist was somehow a gentle hug, a reminder that I am still loved, and that there is a plan for me. 

For several days, or probably weeks, I have been doubting myself– in all aspects. I have been too focused on one thing in my life that I have the tendency of forgetting the rest. It’s like I allowed my work to define who I am, but it’s only a part of who I am. I have been making excuses for everything because I want to rest, I want to have everything under control. I want things done my way. 

And yes, you’ve guessed right. The lesson once again is about surrendering, letting go and acceptance. 

Last Sunday’s gospel reminded me of who I really am — my spiritual contract, and also reminded me to open my eyes, because maybe, I haven’t been seeing clearly. 

And I did open my eyes. 

The world is beautiful. My world is beautiful, and that everything that is happening is just a perfect plan unfolding for me. I am reminded that life isn’t perfect, and I don’t need to force perfection upon it. 

It also reminded me to take a breath. *deep breath*

Surrender and let go. 

How magnificent it is to realize that I am not alone. 

Jump In To LIfe

Every body jump in to life!

This line of the song has caught my attention.. and my heart.

I have been in and out of seminars for the past 3 weeks and I have been on a seminar jargon language mode, especially in my head, and I’m really grateful.

Grateful because if not for it, I would still be in denial that i have been in a fog for the longest time. I am not sure how long, but I know that i have been making false choices for the longest time, and I was in a “give up” situation. I am grateful for that talk with a good friend of mine, 3 weeks ago. He kinda got me out of the fog, and helped clear the haziness.

What was hazy? I can’t really put it into words, but what was clear was that I have forgotten who I am. And I have equated myself with this person who saw her worth to what she brought in, to what she weighed, to what who she was career wise.

I am so blessed to have remembered who I am. Apparently, the whole family was going through that journey too. And after remembering who I am, the greatest thing happened.

I jumped into my life.

Suddenly, everything fell into place. I did things i never thought I’d do. I joined this contest and I won and I got to go to this international youth leadership roundtable with Up With People. I met amazing people all over the world, and got re-introduced to social entrepreneurship. I also met Chris Lao, and I saw how amazing it is that there are people in this world believing in the power of the youth and connectedness. Amazing, amazing experience. What Bruce told me got reaffirmed — like how the youth gravitates toward me, effortlessly. And apparently, it is true.

I was also able to facilitate and market START! 🙂 SUCCESS TOOLS AND ROADMAPS FOR TEENS! I am so proud of me for stepping up and allowing myself to be real and comfortable and creating something for myself! Another validation of my spiritual contract.

Right now, I am opening myself to all possibilities. Anything and everything is possible. I am young, I am free and I am a passionate woman, inspiring the youth of the world, with love and joy, NOW.