My thoughts exactly.

Thought Catalog

We fall in love with people, and we fall in love with places and things. But how many of us have fallen in love with ourselves? It’s a weird concept to think about – falling in love with yourself – it seems like something that we shouldn’t need to experience. But I’m starting to think it might be something we all need to do especially as a prerequisite for all our other types of love especially as we get older.

In the first place, what does it mean to “fall in love?” I ask because the concept is confusing to me: Does love really just happen? Don’t get me wrong, the love between two people can seem to be a rather unexplainable occurrence. And I am indeed one of those weird people who think that love at first sight is possible. But beyond the feelings we feel that let us believe that…

View original post 442 more words

Throwback Tuesday

I was browsing through my old notes and I saw this:

‘m always missing people. I have this tendency to get really attached to the people I get close with.
It’s not a big problem, really. Just that I always tend to miss people.

FOR EXAMPLE.

I never thought that I’d be really attached to the chorale family. I remember joining it because I really wanted to support Cha, who was one of my favorite classmates because she’s awesome (HI CHA). I remember our class writing in that petition because we really want to support her in bringing the chorale back. 4th year came and I was true to my word, I auditioned. And I never thought I would commit as much to the chorale.

I remember telling my friend that I wanted to bring back or re-recognize my talents, and trying out for chorale was part of it. I thought i fulfilled something for myself, but then I realized that I didn’t just do it for myself, to find myself again with my talents and whatelse, but it was because I wanted to be part of a family in the college I am in.

I remember having a talk with RJ and he was telling me that he always felt at home and felt the family vibe all the time. I was sitting there, in awe with what he said, and then I realized how much I FELT that family vibe as well. I suddenly realized that it was the group of people I was extremely comfortable being myself with, even if I knew them for a short time only.

There’s always magic in music, and this magic I experienced all year round.

Himig came and practices were more often. I remember that everytime I write in my planner, I would always write something about loving our practices, whatever it may result to. Himig Day came and it was magical. I felt that we were one, we were one family, and whatever happens, that matters. Win or lose, we would still win, because we had each other.

After himig, all I could see on facebook was I miss yous and pictures where we would make chat rooms because we hardly saw each other as regularly as it were during our practices. We had 1 last performance. Our conductress’ recital. That one person who believed in us always, whose pure, good heart made us whole, for she never stopped believing in us. I think that’s a big factor why we all love each other.

Yesterday was our last official day, and I can’t help but cry. I’ve been in the chorale for only a year and it’s really memorable. It’s the cherry on top of my college experience. You guys are my family in the college of nursing and I’m happy I chose to be with you guys more. It’s actually not sinking in that we’re leaving, seriously. Probably because I know that as a family, even if we’re apart, we’re still with each other, whatever happens. 

What breaks my heart is the physical separation. But it’s okay. For those who love us never really leave us, right? 🙂

I love you Nursing Chorale. Far longer than forever, to the moon and back and back again. 🙂

 

I write goddamn well. 😉

first, love yourself 🙂

Thought Catalog

1. Draw a long, hot bath (even if this means waiting until you go back to your parents’ house for a visit where there is an actual bathtub), light a bunch of candles, get a glass of chilled white wine and a book. Enjoy that for as long as it continues to feel amazing, or at least your fingers don’t get too pruny.

2. Buy yourself some candles, including little cheapie tea candles. Scatter those things everywhere and watch your life immediately improve.

3. Get fresh-cut flowers every once in a while.

4. Whenever the weather is nice outside, make an effort to spend sometime in the sun — even if it’s only by an open window — and just look around for a while, enjoying how beautiful and fresh everything looks.

5. Go to a pet store and/or rescue shelter and say hello to all of the adorable animals…

View original post 476 more words

If there is anything sweeter than this, please let me know.

I woke up in the morning
The sun was shining bright
But I knew something was missing
And it’s you.

My friend texted this to me, saying that it was her younger brother, who’s around 8 or 10 or 11, sang this to her — his own lyrics and own tune. Now, I don’t know how the tune goes, but the lyrics are simply divine. 

Now, if only he was around my age, I’d say yes. But goes to show that sweetness and love comes from any age, given freely and wholly. Sincere and simple. 

Love is all around, always.

We all want the same thing, and we all also can give the same thing. We love. 🙂

Thought Catalog

I used to drink coffee every morning, but now I drink tea. I feel I am very much a coffee person in spirit — in the same way that I am a dog person, maybe — but I have always been drawn to tea people. They have surrounded me in life and warmed me to the more nuanced, quiet pleasures of all the different teas there are to try. My best friend loves English Breakfast, my sister loves Earl Grey, my boyfriend loves Lapsang Souchong. Now, after years of turning up my nose and pouring myself another espresso, I love all of them. (Except Earl Grey, because bergamot tickles my throat.)

There is something beautiful about learning to love through osmosis. We fall in love with people throughout our lives and, by extension, learn to love what they love. Everything that they are interested in, everything they touch, is suddenly…

View original post 564 more words

Death

For the past few days, or the past week, actually, I have been exposed to so much deaths — well not directly, but to the people close to me. Just a sad reality, but also a solid reality that life isn’t really mine. A realization that everything in this life is borrowed and there is no sense of security ever. That at any given point, there is no assurance that we will be alive tomorrow.

As I was growing up, it was normal for me to see deaths. It was a known fact for me, it was something normal. But even so, it still felt surreal, and very uneasy. I found it confusing, saddening, disappointing and full of regrets. I think our parent’s exposure to us to different wakes, necrological services and funerals probably led to me being a quite numb.

And it resurfaces, every now and then, me being numb during the whole process. It became something normal, not until the people involved were people close to me. It resurfaced, the feelings of not wanting to feel anything, but I feel lucky and blessed that I allowed myself to feel too. Right now, in the wakes that I have attended, I allow myself to cry, and to feel the pain. But I also allow myself to be happy for the one who passed away. There is this look of peace and joy in their faces that one cannot deny that they also decided to go forward in life.

In a mass yesterday, the priest said that in this life, we will never know when it will be our time to go. It got me thinking that I never know when it will be my time and if I always chase after what could happen, rather than accepting that death will and is a part of this life I’m living, I could never be at peace.

So I was thinking during mass yesterday that A LOOOOOT of people would like to know how would people react when they die. (Myself included). I concluded it was because of the feeling of absolute and pure love. The feeling that A LOT of people love you, til the very end. And as selfish as it may seem, I don’t think it’s selfish because I guess it’s pretty normal to want to feel loved, and show love and be loved. It’s one of the intangible things that keep us truly alive.

And then I got thinking of what If I was at my own funeral to give myself a eulogy? What would I be saying/telling everyone?

And thus started my new project. I am asking around anyone who is willing to write their own eulogy, and I’ll be collecting this. I do not know what to do with it yet, I could make a book out of it, considering I have several ideas so, please, I WAS FIRST (whoever’s thinking of this as a means for a book), or I could just keep it and mail it to the family when that person dies.. I don’t know yet. I’m just sure that it’s a way to cope with death earlier and accept that at any point, anyone and everyone will die. (No brutality with this, just actual reality) And everyone will be one step closer to meeting God, which I think is an ultimate goal.

So if you’re interested in this new project, please comment here and let me know! I’d love to see how you’d write about yourself. (In the 3rd person, of course!)