A letter to no one

Dear You,

It has been a long time that I have wanted to tell you this. It was on that fated day when I first met you that my heart stopped. Maybe not literally, but something in me snapped. Like I know that for some reason you would forever be present in my life.

And funnily, you are. I am grateful that you are. I remember having this silly crush on you before and hoping you would feel the same way. But alas, fate had it that our path would go longer than a crush. I became your friend and you became mine. Hence, it started off a beautiful friendship.

I remember sharing secrets, crushes, heartaches, gossip. Staying over at your house and just talking and planning and dreaming. Having those phone conversations that would last a long time and sometimes no one knew we were talking on the phone. Good times.

I remember expecting too much from you, and getting hurt in the process. As a grown up, I now see that I really did expect a lot from you, and for that, I am sorry.
I remember growing apart, but always being there to be for one another, if time, distance and circumstance permits it.

I also remember growing back again as friends and like picking up where we left off. I feel blessed that I have friends who I need not speak to everyday, update about everything in my life but I know they still give a damn about me.

Right now, I am happy. I am happy that I have someone like you in my life. Someone constant, whom I know will always be there. There are times that I believe it’s necessary.

You are home to me. Comfort. Security. Safety. Acceptance and Love. Love on many levels, not just romantic love. On a pono level. Putting it really mushily, I feel that I don’t need to be anyone else when I’m with you. And I am grateful for that.

There are moments that I feel I have this recurring thing for you. I think I like you. Maybe something I can never explain. Maybe it’s the little girl inside me hoping that you will like her someday. I am not really sure. But yeah, I think I do. I am pretty sure that I love you either way, but yeah. I think I like you.

Not to put pressure or anything, I just wanted to say it because I think my feelings matter and that people deserve to know when people like them. Cos I’ve met so many people wanting them to be liked by others (myself included).

I really hope this beautiful friendship will never end.
Because you’re the one person in my life I’d like to remain constant. Forever.



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